Four Keys to a Happy Marriage: #3, and #2

With the recent celebration of a seventh wedding anniversary, a time of personal reflection only seemed appropriate; a time for remembrance, and sharing.

Among the things that I’ve learned these past seven years are: how to be a husband, how not to be a husband, and that the “seven year itch” is a matter of choice.

There have been pearls of wedded wisdom shared with me by married men along the way, but much of my marital schooling has come about through trial-and-error.

Hence, the nature of this post, and the “Four Keys to a Happy Marriage” series. I shared key number four on this site yesterday, and now for keys number two and three.

Key number three: make memories together. Spouses who spend their lives apart, grow apart.

Understand, I do not pretend to believe that it is possible to spend every waking moment together, nor is it probably healthy. Husbands, and wives periodically need time away from each other.

But separate vacations, separate hobbies, and separate friends eventually pull a marriage in separate directions.

While the destination of these opposing directions may not end in divorce, the result of lives lived apart is a marriage lacking in depth.

Key number two: kill the quiet. Communicate with your spouse early, and often.

Note that the communication I’m referring to is the type that involves both speaking, and listening. A type of information exchange that allows (and encourages) both spouses to be vulnerable, and transparent.

This may arguably be one of—if not the—toughest keys to grasp. Authenticity must be a concieous, and consistent choice in marriage.

Just because you live with someone doesn’t mean you know them.

Further, husbands, none of us are guaranteed that the romance we now share with our wives will maintain itself, but more on that tomorrow.